Tug of war is a sport that pits two teams against each other in a test of strength: teams pull on opposite ends of a rope, with the goal being to bring the rope a certain distance in one direction against the force of the opposing team's pull. - Wikipedia

In our life this tug of war happens between us as individuals at one end and the other end as society, environment or other individuals. Both sides try their best to pull the rope as much as possible.

Now it depends upon the strength of each individual character how hard they pull. How resolute they are, how focused they are and how aware they are of the other. If an individual is over aware of the other in this tug of war, it becomes harder to pull. Your resolve waivers. You see the bigger picture and forget the individual. You surrender your individuality as gracefully as you can or as gracefully you are allowed to.

On the other end if your individuality is highly developed and focused then you stand firm and put up a fight. There is a better chance that you achieve your objectives and defeat the enemy. The downside is that you lose the bigger picture. You might lose friends or family whom you have defeated so ruthlessly.

Like everything in life, balance and self control is the key. You can only surrender if you are willing to swallow your ego and you can only stand firm if you have the strength for it. To top it all, you need the wisdom to know what to do in each war. Pull as much you can or let the other team have their way once in a while.

Let there be wisdom enough to illuminate the path ahead and the strength to follow along.

Sharp as an arrow, single minded, hitting the bull’s eye are the fraises we hear when someone is ultra focused on a goal or a purpose. When we are in this mode, our energies are concentrated and we become ‘ekagra’. That is one-pointed.

Like an arrow once released does not dither on route wondering should I go this way or that way, am I aimed at the right target or at the wrong target, a focused mind avoids confusion and focuses on accomplishing the objective. Whereas a confused mind will rethink decisions many times, will struggle to commit and lack energy.

Cohesiveness of mind and purpose is essential for focus. Cohesiveness comes when internal differences are resolved. When mind catches a rhythm, noise turns into music, a direction emerges.

To bring cohesiveness, practise meditation or any activity requiring cohesiveness. You will notice that your mental and emotional disturbances starts to calm and you are able to hear yourself more clearly. Surrender to the flow and cultivate the ambience.

While meditation is a great way to bring order to your thoughts, it is not the only way. Any activity where you follow a rhythm and where discipline and repetition are key will help.

Examples include dancing, singing, chanting, yoga, cycling even playing games. Order once established grows and can spread to other areas as well.

Also recognise that pigheadedness or being adamant is not as being cohesive. When you are cohesive, you are not obsessed, it is a balanced state where flexibility is possible without dissolving in to chaos. Whereas when you are obsessed, any deviation or temporary change of focus feels threatening. You lose balance easily.

Finally your mind can be a committee when deciding where to go but got to be a leader when executing the decisions. So practise meditation and develop cohesiveness. You will find that sweet spot of balance more often.